I deleted my bluesky account recently because I can't handle the catastrophizing, collective delusion, and view of so many normie things like having kids as "right coded". After seeing a thread by people who have no friends / never hang out with anyone in real life, I wondered why I was even engaging with it.
I enjoy gardening, which could be viewed as right coded, but then I care about pollinators, which is often left coded. It's exhausting, and these labels seem to switch every few years.
Yup, and I say that because I had even joked for my birthday last month that I liked gardening and baking and said, ya know, trad wife stuff. But it's normal right? Just now, I read a Boston magazine article about SAHMs who don't want to talk about it publicly and the author said the following about the rise of tradwives on social media:
"You’ll often find them painstakingly chronicling their bread-baking or gardening routines; less is said about how much their spouse actually earns to bankroll this blissful life, adding to the myth."
I like making yeasted bread now because I live in suburbia and can't easily walk to a bakery!
I have a similar reaction whenever I tell people I grew up in California (I now live in NC) only its usually people being like “It’s such a 💩hole, the whole state is so irreparable” and I want to be like, “Guys, have you been there??? It’s beautiful and the weather is amazing. It’s has the 4th largest economy in the world. It’s the Mecca of the entertainment and tech industry. There’s a reason billionaires choose to live there.” Not that CA doesn’t have lots of problems, but whole states aren’t monoliths! Especially huge ones like Texas and California.
I just went to SF for work for the first time ever and was truly just shocked over how stunning the landscape is - its just incredible. Cue the comments... anyone that has visceral negative reactions is coming from a political place because I know they haven't been there!
Related to your point on suffering for your beliefs, something I've noticed with both the fundamentalist Christian right wing and the hard DSA left is they both come across as endlessly miserable, joyless scolds. They're perpetually angry about something and seemingly think everyone else should be as well, and in both cases leave me with absolutely no desire to get involved with them in any way.
And agreed, nothing wrong with being proud of where you're from. I moved to the Akron area from NW Ohio (if you've traveled extensively between Toledo and Columbus you've driven through my home county; it's where you get on or off I-75) back in 2007 and then to suburban east side Cleveland in 2011. The vibe from locals then was still "why would you move here voluntarily?" - it didn't seem like folks appreciated how many things there are to do around here. Fortunately, that particular attitude seems to have gone away in recent years.
I don't miss Northwest Ohio's very conservative politics and my personal preferences run more to "big city suburbs" and the associated restaurant and entertainment options that come along with that, but I'm still proud of where I came from, sometimes miss the rolling fields and big skies, and like to think the experience of living there gave me a bit of perspective. It's distressing how a lot of left-leaning folks seem to have written off rural areas entirely, but you've already written a perfectly good article about that.
I'd also add, my best friend growing up lives in California now, and talks frequently about how great it is and what a liberal paradise it is. He was a little surprised when I pointed out that Trump in 2020 got more votes in CA than he did in TX, although that was (just barely) not the case in 2024. Just goes to reinforce the point that states are not monolithic!
Yes to all of this. The constant sorting of everything into politics is utterly annoying and makes people hate stuff they like and like stuff they hate. Personally I have to try to suppress the impulse when I feel that coming on (like when I like a country song for instance). I felt this way about certain things before everything was politicized because of where I grew up and who I was around all the time.
The best thing to happen for me recently was Elon buying Twitter. It was toxic before it because totally right wing because it just drove everything to the most extreme possible view. No nuance in 140 characters. I’m much less angry now that I dumped Twitter mostly read reddit and substack! Cheers Elon!
I've had the great opportunity to live in six different states over the last seven years, and every one of them has had a lot to offer, and has had plenty of people from all over the political spectrum living there.
I deleted my bluesky account recently because I can't handle the catastrophizing, collective delusion, and view of so many normie things like having kids as "right coded". After seeing a thread by people who have no friends / never hang out with anyone in real life, I wondered why I was even engaging with it.
I enjoy gardening, which could be viewed as right coded, but then I care about pollinators, which is often left coded. It's exhausting, and these labels seem to switch every few years.
I don’t see gardening as right coded but lawns yes ha. All of this is so dumb omg
Yup, and I say that because I had even joked for my birthday last month that I liked gardening and baking and said, ya know, trad wife stuff. But it's normal right? Just now, I read a Boston magazine article about SAHMs who don't want to talk about it publicly and the author said the following about the rise of tradwives on social media:
"You’ll often find them painstakingly chronicling their bread-baking or gardening routines; less is said about how much their spouse actually earns to bankroll this blissful life, adding to the myth."
I like making yeasted bread now because I live in suburbia and can't easily walk to a bakery!
Yes are you a trad wife for cooking and cleaning or are you just middle class and trying to survive?
I have a similar reaction whenever I tell people I grew up in California (I now live in NC) only its usually people being like “It’s such a 💩hole, the whole state is so irreparable” and I want to be like, “Guys, have you been there??? It’s beautiful and the weather is amazing. It’s has the 4th largest economy in the world. It’s the Mecca of the entertainment and tech industry. There’s a reason billionaires choose to live there.” Not that CA doesn’t have lots of problems, but whole states aren’t monoliths! Especially huge ones like Texas and California.
Literally unbelievably beautiful.
I just went to SF for work for the first time ever and was truly just shocked over how stunning the landscape is - its just incredible. Cue the comments... anyone that has visceral negative reactions is coming from a political place because I know they haven't been there!
Related to your point on suffering for your beliefs, something I've noticed with both the fundamentalist Christian right wing and the hard DSA left is they both come across as endlessly miserable, joyless scolds. They're perpetually angry about something and seemingly think everyone else should be as well, and in both cases leave me with absolutely no desire to get involved with them in any way.
And agreed, nothing wrong with being proud of where you're from. I moved to the Akron area from NW Ohio (if you've traveled extensively between Toledo and Columbus you've driven through my home county; it's where you get on or off I-75) back in 2007 and then to suburban east side Cleveland in 2011. The vibe from locals then was still "why would you move here voluntarily?" - it didn't seem like folks appreciated how many things there are to do around here. Fortunately, that particular attitude seems to have gone away in recent years.
I don't miss Northwest Ohio's very conservative politics and my personal preferences run more to "big city suburbs" and the associated restaurant and entertainment options that come along with that, but I'm still proud of where I came from, sometimes miss the rolling fields and big skies, and like to think the experience of living there gave me a bit of perspective. It's distressing how a lot of left-leaning folks seem to have written off rural areas entirely, but you've already written a perfectly good article about that.
I'd also add, my best friend growing up lives in California now, and talks frequently about how great it is and what a liberal paradise it is. He was a little surprised when I pointed out that Trump in 2020 got more votes in CA than he did in TX, although that was (just barely) not the case in 2024. Just goes to reinforce the point that states are not monolithic!
Yes to all of this. The constant sorting of everything into politics is utterly annoying and makes people hate stuff they like and like stuff they hate. Personally I have to try to suppress the impulse when I feel that coming on (like when I like a country song for instance). I felt this way about certain things before everything was politicized because of where I grew up and who I was around all the time.
The best thing to happen for me recently was Elon buying Twitter. It was toxic before it because totally right wing because it just drove everything to the most extreme possible view. No nuance in 140 characters. I’m much less angry now that I dumped Twitter mostly read reddit and substack! Cheers Elon!
I've had the great opportunity to live in six different states over the last seven years, and every one of them has had a lot to offer, and has had plenty of people from all over the political spectrum living there.