Something Sentimental for V-Day

Sometimes you gotta let yourself be bowled over by the joys of parenthood and ordinary love

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. (Or it was at my kids’ school anyway; They were off today for routine teacher’s conferences.)

Weeks ago I had bought my daughter Norah, 6, a special gift and I was so excited to give it to her. It was a pair of heart stud earrings. They were 24 karat gold, a little bit of a splurge but not too excessive. (I got them at Kay Jewelers in a suburban style trip mall and they were 40% off. They weren’t priceless antiques or all that special beyond that.)

Nevertheless, they are the perfect earrings for a six-year-old girl, which is what she is. And they were perfect for a Valentine’s Party at a school, which is probably the most exiting thing in the world when you’re six.

I gave them to her in the morning before school. And she was excited. She’s always excited so about any little gift. I rarely give her gifts because other people in my family enjoy it so much and sometimes it feels a little excessive. But this one felt sentimental. Like the perfect thing for a mother to give a little girl who’s growing up that she loves.

I also did her hair special for the party.

I didn’t know how to French braid when she was born. My mom never knew how to French braid my hair when I was young, even though she was the mother of two girls. (She was a fantastic mother, by the way, but never the kind that could pull off a really perfect French braid, which is a different brand of mother that I also know and sincerely admire.)

I guess I’m more of the type of mother she was, but I still feel, sometimes, a little inferior to the other type, who can French braid perfectly, and somehow has time before school.

But once Norah got to the point, as a toddler, where she had hair that could be braided, I just started of sort of doing my best. Her first braids were kinda ridiculous. But she didn’t know any better. They kinda felt like a symbol of my performance as a mom: A little bit imperfect, but trying anyway.

Now I’ve gotten to the point where the two braids I did carefully while she was watching her morning cartoons, and then pulled together in the back, were pretty darn good I think. (I hardly know myself anymore! What kind of mom am I? A weird hybrid third type?)

After that, we selected a bow together following some negotiation (she wanted three). The bow we agreed on finally, a friend of hers had left here. And I did have to admit, was of a nicer quality than the ones Norah has — dozens of them that are always scattered across the floor and in all kinds of weird places. I don’t even know where most of them came from. But somehow we have accumulated an overwhelming amount.

I had volunteered to help with the Valentine’s Party at her school. This was something that feels, if I’m just being honest, pretty luxurious. Being able to take the time off to do it really is sort of like a “pinch me” thing for me.

Her friends from her class, I know a lot of them now. I know their names. A lot of them I have met and hung out with their parents once or twice. I even know a little about their interests or talents.

They’re only six so they are A. very cute B. actually excited and thrilled to have me there, a couple of them anyway. There’s one little girl, she seems quiet and I’ve only met her once or twice, at birthday parties, but she always remembers me and gives me a special hug.

Being at the school is fun. It’s a little chaotic and bright and colorful and noisy. In contrast to an office like environment, where I spent much of my work time in adult life, it’s just much less serious, more fun, or just wildly different I guess, but positive, or at least I experience it that way.

Moments like this come and go and I don’t take them for granted, like I feel like someone would normally say or know looking back. I know, very consciously, right now, that it’s never going to get any better than this for me. After giving my daughter the gold stud earrings, and seeing how pretty they looked on her with her braids, at the class Valentine party, where I made home made rice crispy treats (God’s greatest food) for her and her friends to eat at snack before they sat in a circle and one by one, impatiently waited for their turn to walk around and drop their treat or car into each one’s Valentine’s bag, that they just made using stickers, I tell myself I could die happy right now and I couldn’t complain and I mean it.