Mary Poppins and the Push and Pull of Working and Parenting

It's not a cool reference I know, but this movie lays out the conflict all parents have to wrestle with so well.

One thing that fascinates me is how much movies and television have changed since I was a kid. When I was young, everyone was watching network television, often together with other people, including children.

It was a little formulaic, but almost every show — even irreverent ones like the Simpsons — had a moral message delivered almost every time. Often, in these types of movies and television shows, “the bad guy” was rich. And “the good guy” was not, and the bad guy got a comeuppance from the decent, non-rich person at the end. This was feel good, of course. But Americans, we need that from our television, especially those of us who aren’t rich and are trying to be decent. We want to be comforted at the end of a hard day.

But everything changed, in this respect, around the time I was in high school or college. “Cribs” came out and “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and “Jersey Shore,” and all that schmaltzy crap about morals went out the window. Every show ended up with drunk (rich) people making out in a hot tub. The rich person wasn’t the bad guy anymore. They were aspirational, even if they weren’t exactly admirable, in the old-fashioned sense anyway.

I think that shift actually affected our culture profoundly. I think that television and narratives are very powerful, even for people like myself who think we’re so smart and immune to all that.

But today, I want to talk about the OLD kind of film, a classic one at that: Mary Poppins. Everyone has seen this movie (I think? right?) to the point where no one thinks there’s anything useful that can be gleaned out of it. Or anyway, it’s not fashionable prestige media for think pieces, I know.

For some reason though, I think about this movie all the time. For one, I love Julie Andrews, a complete Goddess, IMO the absolute pinnacle feminine grace to this day. There are things, looking back, about this movie that are subversive as well, even by today’s standards.

One thing I love about Mary Poppins is the song “Sister Suffragettes,” sung by the (sort of absentee) mom and her domestic staff, about British women’s movement to gain the right to vote. All through my education, I never really learned about the suffrage movement. I think this song, is actually the most culturally resonant reference to that time I can think of. The lyrics are hilarious too: “While we adore men in-div-id-ually, we agree that as a group they’re… rather stupid.” (Apologize if that’s triggering to some folks right now, but women have made these kinds of jokes at men’s expense since forever and we need this.)

I rewatched this movie with my children at some point a few years ago, and while they weren’t too interested, I was really moved. Mary Poppins does a masterful job at a neat trick any good kids movie should do: Being entertaining for kids while having a plot line that is aimed at parents as well.

But this transformation has happened to my perspective since having kids. Now when I watch movies and television, often instead of relating not to the kids (the main characters), I relate to the parents.

Anyway, the moral message this movie has for parents is very profound. And George Banks — gah, I hate that I relate to him — but he embodies this difficult position parents find themselves in (or maybe even people who don’t have kids that are considering it) with respect to work and raising children and the very real tradeoffs you struggle with.

As I said, it’s sad that I relate to him. He’s not a very likable character. But now that I’m a full adult (groan!), I can’t help but empathize with this poor guy. Here he is, supporting not just a wife and kids, but a whole household staff. That’s a big responsibility!

Furthermore, he works at a bank. This is the kind of institution — (I know, boo banks!) — but it’s important. To the point where, if there’s a problem and his kid starts yelling during the unplanned Take Your Kid to Work Day he’s manipulated into, it can cause a panic, reverberate through the entire society.

So of course, George Banks is preoccupied with that. Plus — and this is the part that I think needs to be acknowledged but is not enough discussed — his job endows him with a certain status. He struts around his neighborhood like a nobleman, everyone knowing him, respecting him. Work, especially certain kinds of work, provide that in a way, frankly, parenting doesn't, at least not in the same way.

The world George Banks is living in, the things he is preoccupied with, are just so different than his children’s world. They are thinking of treats and adventures and parks and kites. And he’s thinking about interest rates and his domineering boss and bills etc.

I don’t have that important of a job, or that much financial pressure, but even for me, sometimes it’s hard to make the mental adjustment. The kids want me to fly a kite? To what end? Just for fun!

I do think the role children play in this movie — helping him step back a little — is very valid.